My wife cheated on me when we were dating

She was furious at first, after some time we were talking calmly and deciding My wife has always been a straight laced girl. this caught me.
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You guys are a family now, so you have to find some way to just let it go. It's going to take time and a lot of trust. She is going to be open with you all the time otherwise, if something doesn't match up, it's only natural that your instincts from what previously has happened will scar you again. Make it very clear to her that you are giving her this chance and not to blow it by lying about anything. I think after a while, if everything goes smooth and she can be trusted, then let go of the issue and move on.

I can understand how this would niggle you. She is very probably telling the truth it does happen especially when you are angry with someone. Just explain to her you need to talk about this just to get it out of your system. Just remember it is your mind controlling you, the day before you knew this you were fine. Don't let this situation have power over you, it may destroy the good relationship you have had since then. Man i definitely feel your pain. I have been living in pretty much the same situation.


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My wife and I met in college we were in our teens and dated till we got married. In college we had our ups and downs and even broke up a couple times. When we weren't in school we lived in different states at least 13 hrs apart I never cheated on her while we were together no matter how tough things got. I graduated school before she did and things were really rocky. She cheated on me with an ex boyfriend.

Staying Together After Cheating: Can It Work Out And How?

We broke up for about 8 months. I forgave her for sleeping with ex and we got back together. During the time when we werent together we dated other people. Didnt really care about that.. We got married 4 years later and things are great. About 3 years after we are married we get into an aurguement about the past. After some hard persuasion becareful for what you ask for she reveals that she had cheated on me more than just that one time while we dated back in college. I was shocked and hurt. The way I dealt with her cheating with her ex years ago was the fact that I felt it was the only time she ever cheated and she would never do it again.

However she had cheated with other guys before her ex. Also, she reveal other things that she did while we were "broken up". I felt betrayed, I felt like I couldn't trust her and that I was tricked into marriage. I felt like everything she told me was a lie. This woman I married was not the person I thought she was.

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Ironically after finding out this news we found out she was pregnant. I was upset at first because if I decided that I wanted to leave because of this, a baby would make it more dificult. Having a daughter actually saved our marriage. It took a lot of the focus away from the past. I realized that she married me for a reason. I realized that yes she played the field at my expense but realized that I am who she wants to be with. Are they married or did they have GF's at the time? Not only did she cheat on you while you were deployed and serving your country , she cheated with TWO guys.

Get an annulment quick!!! When I was on leave we became exclusivebf and gf. I stopped talking to any other girls n dedicated myself to her. I got back from deployment in aug n I just found this out like two weeks ago.


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  8. I literally had to pry it out of her she was lying to me about who's she's been with which is dumb but she did it so that I wouldn't figure out that she cheated on me. One of the guys I knew that she was staying with because she got kicked out of her house for a short time but of course she told me he was gay n he wasn't. She would talk to other guys delete the messages hide convos from me that I knew were inappropriate. But I got suspicious when I found a message between her n the one guy where he said it was weird that she was engaged because she only told him we were engaged when we were really marride n she why because of us then went on to talk about how he doesn't need a bigger dick ect she told me it was a joke I trusted her so I let it slide but then I found her lying about talking to other guys n just stuiped stuff with in our lives.

    She tried to keep lying about cheating till she finliy told me which took like three weeks of none stop fighting she's always accausing me of cheating n talking to other girls which I'm not n I just don't believe he's being completely honest with me. You married the wrong person.

    Pre-marital cheating

    Seek an attorney for an annulment. You should get tested for STD's. She does not respect you or your marriage. Don't waste your life with this person.

    Just learned that my wife cheated while we were engaged - relationship advice

    If you do not respect yourself then who will? No kids; in the imortal words of Monty Python: God bless, and thank you for service to our country. Disregard Females, Aquire Currency. Shows a dreadful and complete absence of Respect, and betrayal of Trust, with flawed, non-existent or false Communication. OP, I would suggest getting some legal advice from your JAG office, if nothing else to better understand your options and obligations going forward.

    If you'd like to reconcile this, perhaps seeking counseling through the VA would be helpful. Try and rewrite your letter in neutral language, avoiding words like 'cheat' and 'one-night stand'. It might read something like this: We have had a monogamous dating relationship for four years before that.

    In the preceding four years, I was committed to her, but she experimented around before committing herself to me. Some people are adults at 18, but many are still emotionally very young. I have had many clients in their mids who had an affair although they still loved their spouse.

    Invariably, they entered a monogamous relationship while still very young, then 15 to 20 years later they felt they had missed out on something. Temptation came along, and against their best judgment they gave in to an impulse. Had your lady 'shopped around' before she met you, she might not have felt the need later. This was your situation. You knew you wanted her rather than the women you 'sampled' previously, but she had no such basis of comparison. In four years, she'd had three sexual experiences.

    One of them was while she and you had temporarily broken up. The other two were at a time when she was dating you, having fun together, but she had made you no promises. Then, for six years, she has been monogamous, with you, and she felt sure enough of her feelings to marry you. I think things are not as bleak as they might appear to you. Perhaps it's fortunate that she has had those experiences, so that she won't feel the need later, in another five to ten years.

    Finally, why did she tell you, and why now? Well, how can I know?


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    • Pre-marital cheating.

    But my guess is that she has had feelings of guilt, and wanted to come clean. It took her six years to work up her courage, and she must feel secure enough in the relationship to take the risk. So, I don't think you need to be afraid of losing her, or having her engage in casual sex with strangers.